Back on my Feet Again

It’s nice to be back on my feet again, after a long break… I guess I am finally back to writing again. During my hard times, I started learning new hobbies to find myself like painting… and some yoga, just being by myself and it helped me relax a bit more. Of course there were times when I had to go out with friends and I chose to be with only the good ones😊. There were though some instances where life tries to pull me back down again but I have learned it the hard way, not letting any obstacles bring me back down. Today I am starting my day by going to the gym to keep me feel more energetic, and later to the church.

Let’s not let anybody bring us down, start living a better life by doing your hobbies and follow your heart and your passion. I hope everyone have a great Sunday.

My Best of Time…

DaZ Journal © Copyright 2019

One of the best times in my life after a good breakup… I call it good because it did a lot of good things in my life after then, was just by sitting at my couch alone and spend my thoughts to creative things I haven’t ever done in my life before… so I started to paint, using Acryl paints and I got amazed of the outcome, now it has become my hobby. The picture above was the latest one I did. Sometimes in our life we discover new things, we learn new things, and we begin to appreciate ourselves even more.

Some if my paints are now viewable on my Instagram: dazkobb

It’s not a Goodbye

To those who have been following me, I would like to apologize for not being able to write and post on WordPress for the last few weeks up to the coming more days or weeks… I would be gone… for a while, but not forever. After a long struggle, I am taking a long break to find myself, and to improve myself. I am wishing I am not alone in this and I hope everybody understands.

I have some good news though, I’d be posting from time to time on Instagram some photos or videos to keep you still updated.

You may follow me here on Instagram, to keep you posted: dazkobb

Keep Going

I’m sharing this beautiful quote because I just had this experience not long ago… Sadly, when a friend tries to bring us down, especially in times of our worse situations in life, we tend to give up in life. But the good part about it is that we learn who our real friends are. A real friend will never let you down and will never bring you down no matter what, especially not when you feel like you were down in the dumps. A real friend will never upbraid you or insult you, because that is in “no way” an “acceptance” of who or what you are. A real friend understands the “value” of “friendship” and this includes all that defines its all meanings. A real friend will keep your secrets and will forever hold it himself/herself because he/she knows the value of keeping it. A friend that understands cultivates friendship into a deeper relationship, to make the friendship grow and not to break it.

If we are a kind of person who let somebody turn us down, we’ll never grow, it will make us fail, but if we try to look a positive side of it, when somebody tries to hurt us with words, we learn and from there we learn how to act.

I am glad I learned. We know the fact that once a damage has been done, it can never be repaired.

I hope you are a kind of person who will never let anyone bring you down.

So, thank you… just please keep going.

Keep Going
— Read on

A Little Time

Getting up 15 minutes before 6am, this is not so common to me. I usually wake up few minutes after 6am during my working days. I couldn’t get myself to sleep before 4 o’clock in the morning for the last 3 days after my arrival from Germany. Definitely the result of my jet lag. I have been out of town since I arrived, no waste of time, I had to get myself busy… I only had few days to stay here so I had to get the most out of it. I think I had to thank my headache last night, because of that I was early in bed and woke up early today… no more jet lag (Haha!)

My first day of arrival was at night time, where my sister and my sister’s driver picked me up from the airport. It was my first experience to be picked up from the airport with a delivery truck! Such an experience, did my sister think I had so many luggages to bring home?!!! LOL!

Delivery Truck

Anyway, it was an unforgettable moment… and I am expecting the remaining of my days here in Philippines to be more fun!

So now I found a little time for myself, by drinking some tea while writing this blog.

I already had some plans for today, surely going to be a very busy day again… but I still had time to just relax and take my time.

I wish everyone then to have a great day… enjoy every moment because that is the only thing in life that is free.

A little sometime-cup of tea



A Little Break

Yesterday was a long flight, flying from Hamburg, I was walking at a long path of London Heathrow airport. I had a 3 hour stop and I used all the time to just walk around while waiting for my gate to open.

While I was walking around, my thoughts were somewhere, my heart still felt heavy.

I remember when I was driving for work yesterday and suddenly I just burst into tears. Then I was sitting at the front of my computer at work, I noticed some flashbacks. The pain is forever there… I could hardly concentrate from work and I was close to telling my chef that I needed a rest… but hey.. just few hours before my off, I had to be patient.

Finally on my way back home, it was like the same morning when I just burst into tears.

I can’t just take the pain away, it hurts so much deeply, as if it was cutting my heart and leaving a big scar in there.

Seeing myself sitting for a pause, I didn’t realize how long it took me walking around the huge and crowded waiting area of London Heathrow.

Now I am back to myself, trying to feel what I am feeling… but it was empty… as if I’ve already cried all the tears as if I left my country and also already leaving my past behind.

A new hope was built inside of me. I think it’s a really good start for me to have some time to think… and make a brand new start.

This is all I needed… a few weeks away, a little break, a little time. This is the moment I know I wanted to get myself back… and I am hoping, really hoping that this moment will help me never ever to look back.

Thank you…

I may cry all the tears

But I will bury them with you

Not wishing to look back

Because pain is enough

A little something for myself

Is all what I have

But I will stand proud

Because one day I know

Living without you

Will make me live

For at least one another day

So, thank you for all the tears…

Because it finally woke me up

It made me weak, yet stronger

It gave me new hope

One day I’ll say…

I’m finally on my own

Standing… without you.

Thank you.

Daz Journal, Copyright © 2019

Thank you 100 Followers

Hey guys! I would like to take this opportunity thank all my 💯 followers… it was just recently when I noticed it because I didn’t really pay much attention to it… so guys I really thank you, I know 100 is not really much, most of you probably already have thousands, but please keep on following! I’m looking forward for more posts and really great interactions… from the bottom of my heart I really thank you😍🥰🥰🥰

What’s Holding You Back In Making Your Dreams Come True?

My drafts were kept drafts for years. My life got stuck in a complicated world, my life turned mess. I’ve travelled many places but never found myself. I got lost to where I belong.

It’s been quite a long time since my last blog and I regret not giving myself a little time to write.

At this point of time, I am feeling ashamed of myself, for being me not being able to be what I should be, for being a person who has nothing to brag about but failure.

The truth is, there is something deep inside me that always bothers me, something inside me that is afraid to tell, to open up and to talk about. I am lost, I moved and travelled places but still I am lost within. I can’t bring my sufferings and tears out, nobody understands anyway. I can only scream inside and keep my tears to myself.

I am not a person of perfection, well I’m sure nobody is and nobody was. People see me like how they wanted to see me, and I see people very far from my distance. I see things as dark as my innermost grievances. I am nobody, I can’t be the person people expect me to be, I can’t go on living like everything seems to be well while it’s not, because deep inside me is a spirit that’s about to surrender, yet a fighting spirit that wants to move on. Yes, there’s one thing that keeps me from moving on, my dreams.

So alright I have my dreams. I guess it’s actually my dreams that made me nobody now, a dream that made me stumble, to stand again and fall, to keep trying and fall, to hope and to give up, to dream but to lose. Because of this, I was close to depression not being able to live my dreams, or maybe I am already there but a part of me won’t accept it. The truth is… I almost forgot the most important things in my life, my family, me being as a mother, or being a wife, and the responsibilities of both being a wife and a mother. Actually I’ve almost given up everything, I blamed everything or everyone around me, because the world isn’t fair, the people around me made it more difficult for me, or probably it was just me or what’s within me… me not being able to find myself time, or me thinking too much and doing nothing, or me just always blaming myself. I hate myself for this, but I can’t let my dreams just dreams. This is why I escaped myself from reality and rest my worries and fears in the air. At the depth of my thoughts ends a realization that there is nothing on earth that could save me but myself.

Despite all the obstacles, I am learning to cope my failures. I’m still trying hard to move on and live up with my dreams. I try as much as possible to give time for myself and think about what I really wanted to do in my life. At my age, I haven’t really done much to fulfill my dreams, but there were times when I really wanted to start doing things that I really wanted to do but obstacles always come along the way. Mothers don’t really have much time for themselves, because like me, I invested too much time for my child, not knowing I was forgetting my own.

And so is the reason for this blog, to reach out and probably inspire someone like me to go on and keep dreaming but also do something to make that dream real. A part of me says it has to start now, not yesterday, not tomorrow but now… or you will end up regretting not doing anything to make that dream come true… because if there is an opportunity, it has to be now. So if you are like me, please try to set aside all the things that’s holding you back, try sacrificing and live that dream you always wanted to, and if you fail, stand up and try again, you’ll end up realizing “at least you tried”… and the next time you’ll try, you “know” what to do… so keep trying, but keep moving, don’t give up because there is always hope.

One day you will see, you’ll be sitting with that dream you’ve always dreamed about.

So let’s start now, we’ll do it together.

Someday You’ll See

Just let me fall

Take everything all

Until nothing is left

Even my last breathe

My lost maybe your victory

But one day when I am gone

Someday you’ll see

Your biggest regret in life

When I am nowhere to be found.

Rügen, Germany

It wasn’t long time ago when me and my family visited Rügen (or Ruegen), a biggest island in Germany located located at Baltic Sea. It was just a 3-night visit, but I would say it was worthwhile. For some reasons, I’ve started writing about our tour here but at some point, I never got to an end-point.

I was at the midpoint of my ups and downs, but this tour has just refreshed the inner side of me.

The island of Rügen is part of the district of Vorpommern-Rügen, with its county seat in Stralsund. The towns on Rügen are: Bergen, Sassnitz, Putbus and Garz. In addition, there are the Baltic seaside resorts of Binz, Baabe, Göhren, Sellin and Thiessow.

Rügen is very popular as a tourist destinationbecause of its resort architecture, the diverse landscape and its long, sandy beaches.

You will find some photos below, I think the pictures say it all, as it has never been easy describing how such lovely this place this is.

Sellin, Rügen

The Ostseebad Sellin is a municipality on the island of Rügen in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania. The municipality in the district of Vorpommern-Rügen is managed by the office Mönchgut-Granitz, located in the municipality of Baabe.

Ostseebad Sellin

You will see some dark spots on the sand, as on the photo above, it’s where experts of Stone hunters searched for Amber- the “Gold of the Baltic Sea”.

Amber is a fossil, fossilized resin that was secreted by coniferous trees in the Baltic Sea area about 40 to 50 million years ago. Under exclusion of oxygen, resin was preserved and solidified in layers of brown coal age – it was amber.

The amber has a low density, it is light and soft, so it is taken by the ocean current. Therefore, the distribution is very wide-ranging. There are various forms, these were caused by the different toughness of the resin. The color depends on the radiation of the light when it leaves the tree.

Amber is easily confused with other stones. To determine if it is amber, the stone is lit. In a positive sample, the stone burns very bright. That’s why he got his name.

Sellin, Rügen

The first place we visited in Rügen after Breege was Sellin, for me the place was very quiet but perfect for those who are just simply trying to relax and enjoy the air, sand, and water.

Sellin, Rügen

Binz, Rügen

Binz, Rügen

Binz is perfect for those who loves to shop, there are also a lot of selected nice shops and restaurants just around a few meters away from the sea. It was easier for us to find some nice Restaurants in Binz than in Sellin.

Sellin, RügenInside National Park

King’s Chair of the Jasmund Peninsula (Königstuhl) view from National Park

King’s Chair of the Jasmund Peninsula (Königstuhl)

The Königsstuhl or King’s Chair is the best-known chalk cliff on the Stubbenkammer in the Jasmund National Park on the Baltic Sea island of Rügen and lies at 118 m above sea level.

Bunkers can still be found during the World War II at Putgarten

Kap Arkona View from the top of the Tower in Puttgarten.

Cape Arkona or Kap Arkona in Germany, is a 43 meter high, consisting of chalk and boulder clay steep coast on the peninsula Wittow in the north of the island of Rügen. The area monument Kap Arkona belongs beside the fishing village Vitt to the municipality Putgarten and is one of the most popular excursion destinations on Rügen with annually about 800,000 visitors.

Tower at Kap Arkona

We went to the top of this Tower to see the nice view of Kap Arkona in Putgarten.

Kapitäns Häuser, Breege (where we stayed for 3 nights, at the back of this house is a nice overlooking view of the sea.

Port of Yachts in Breege


I just spotted this small house while we were strolling around Breege to look for some nice restaurants around.

Stralsund, RügenWe dropped by at Stralsund on our way back home and visited this small lovely city.

Panoramic View of Stralsund

Not only did I enjoy our short stay in Rügen, but also driving at a no-speed limit area (reachjng 200 kms. per hour) made our Journey fun!

You may check it out here:

Driving 200 kilometers per hour in Germany

What would you do when your Boss’ Wife comes out to the Scene and makes your life Miserable?

Photo Credit: Marten Bjork #MartenBjork,

I am not so proud to announce but I am really having a terrible day with my boss’ wife. Honestly, I don’t know what I did to make her mad at me. I’ll try to make the story short, it was my boss (the man) who hired me in the first place, whatever was written on my contract was an agreement between me and him, for example he agreed on my 24 day vacation leave per year despite of my request to make it 30 days. Others who had been working there for over a year had 20 days off a year. I actually worked only for him over the year, I handle around 5 to 8 Designers online at work and other encoders from Asia online.

I work 4 hours a day from Monday to Friday. My 1st Year contract at work was Probationary, but 2 months before my 1st temporary contract ends, my boss increased my salary because he said I was too good and my income was very low. My 1st Probationary contract was extended for another year.

In Germany, it is not allowed to give more than two years probationary contract, so my next contract this time should be a permanent one now. But before my contract ends, my boss’ wife sent me an email saying they will be offering me another contract, so I made an appointment with her to talk about it, and she asked me what I think how my performance at work was… I said I think I did great. Then she said that my boss (her husband) also thinks I am performing well and that is why he wants to keep me in the company, but she said she thinks I am receiving too much salary and vacation in comparison with the others who had been working there longer that I am. So she said to me that she would be rather hiring a German who speaks fluently with the same salary than I have (she meant because I am from Asia just like her, and my German language is not better than any Germans), so she said she will give me an option to work longer with the same salary and vacation, or have my salary reduced. She said if I will not accept it, he will have a separation with her husband and laughed and she said “it’s only a joke”. She said I don’t have to speak about our conversation with my boss, because she decides for it.

Photo Credit: Brooke Lark #BrookeLark @brookelark,

I had only two weeks to think about it, I told my husband about it and he said it’s not really nice what she does but I have to accept it to keep my job. So she sent me an email to follow up my decision, I told her I could not work longer than she requested so I had no choice but to accept her offer to reduce my salary even though I don’t think there is a reason to reduce my salary. She talked to me again and gave me another option to have my vacation reduced instead, from my original 24 days vacation will be reduced to 20 days. Looks like she was having trouble with the Finance Office to reduce my salary, so I had no option again but to accept a 20 day vacation every year. My contract ended on the 16th of March which falls on Thursday, then I should receive my permanent contract On the 17th of March which was Friday, but three days before my probationary contract ends she said I should not go to work on Friday since my new contract will start on Monday which is on the 20th March. I asked her why not on Friday, she said because she doesn’t give new contracts on Friday. I had no choice but to accept the offer.

Photo Credit: Asdrubal Luna #AsdrubalLuna,

As I received my salary, I found out that 3 days work was deducted so I asked about it and she said because I did not work for 3 days, even though actually Saturday and Sunday was no-working day, it was included in my deductions. I did not understand the point of reducing my salary for two non-working days, although I did not work for only 1 day because it was her request that I do not go for work. From the time I complained about my salary deduction, my stress with her did not stop, we exchanged arguments over email and I made some research together with my husband and I found out it’s not allowed to worsen a contract if the task and duty remains. Germany has strict rules and law on work, as I found out according to law, from the moment I got a salary increase during my Probationary Period at work, my Contract should have been automatically converted to a Permanent Contract, and the 3 days interruption after my probationary period does not actually exist unless it would have been longer than 3-weeks interruption, I should have received a full amount of my monthly income even with 3-days interruption. Even reducing my vacation is not allowed in German law since my task and duties remained the same.

Photo credit: Tom Pumford #TomPumford,

I’ve discussed the issue with my boss as I believe that he should be the one talking about it with his wife, but as it always turned out, either he’s damned too coward to talk about the issue with her or he just doesn’t want to have any arguments with her, so I guess I just have to do it all on my own. Since then, she made my life at work miserable. One day when my boss was not at work, I was surprised to see her come to where I work, she sat beside me where she actually never does because she normally works at a different office location. So she turned the computer on beside me and worked there and asked me to submit to her my report, ~ she obviously wanted to know what I have been doing at work, my boss never did this but I think it was fine so I just did it. After giving her my report I still had to explain to her what I do at work because it turned out she was lazy to read my report and she basically had no idea what I do. Looks like this made her realized it was not easy to handle eight designers a day (for a part-time work). Then one day, she asked me to be the replacement of my other office worker because she was on vacation for few days and I have to do the invoice and answer calls at the same time, however good I tried to be, all I received was her critics and there was not even a single warm appreciation on what I accomplished. Then another day, I called to tell her I could not go to work because my daughter is sick, I was surprised because she’d been shouting and yelling at me over the phone and she said I should resign, I asked why… she said because I just simply could not work… I said no and if she thinks I am not reliable for work because my daughter is sick, then she should terminate me from work~ which I believe she wouldn’t do, and she couldn’t do. As expected, she yelled at me again and hang up on me. In a month time now, I’d be 4 years at the company and I am not really sure why I’m still stucked there… my issue of having back my 24-day vacation per year is still not clear despite giving her all the information she needed.

Should I have any other option, I’d rather be just simply doing and working somewhere without such stress. I mean, it is actually the only kind of job for me right now which fits my schedule well, so searching for a different kind of job is not really an option… probably you have tips on what else I should do to get rid of my boss’ wife? Have you ever had such an experience? How do you handle such a situation? I’d just be glad and happy to hear any of your comments. 🙏

My Christmas 2018

This year’s Christmas celebration at home was quite special for me, probably because it was way different than how I spent my Christmas last year. I must admit I had too many downs for the year 2018, it’s my most difficult year ever, but on a positive side of it, this year made me stronger and I think a little bit more mature than ever and so I am bidding my farewell to 2018 with greater confidence and a hopeful positive future.

To all my followers who had been there for me, thank you for being on my toughest days and I am sorry for not being able to post often lately.

This Christmas holiday made me quite busy fixing my family 😃 spending more time with them and friends as well, this includes our very busy Christmas party together including going out, meeting old friends and drinking some Glühwein at Weihnachtsmarkt.

Glühwein Photo, a hot fragrant mulled wine, usually served at Christmas markets or Weihnachtsmarkt in Germany.

As a traditional way of spending Christmas in Germany, after attending the holy mass on the 24th of December, we opened our 🎁 Gifts as soon as we got home, then had our dinner, drinks and some chat.

Our next day Christmas, we spent it with some friends at home.

Tomorrow I’ll be in Hamburg Weihnachtsmarkt, glad there’s still Weihnachtsmarkt there because here in Oldenburg where I live Weihnachtsmarkt already ended on the 22nd of December.

I can’t wait for the night before new year comes because we will be celebrating it with some friends so this year’s holiday is quite very busy for me. I am looking forward though for 2019 as there will definitely be more exciting and unexpected days waiting ahead… of course I will keep you updated, so please stay tuned😃👍🏼

Happy holidays everyone!😉🥰

Christmas Party with friends

This marks one of the most important day in my life. Celebrating yearly Christmas party with friends and loved ones, knowing each other even more deeply than one could ever imagine, a kind of friendship we all know somebody stands by our side, a friend who listens and understands us… patiently, and accepts us for what we are💪🏼😅, friends who are still there and spend time with you even when you are down in the dumps, laugh with you, cry with you, fight for you and tell you the things you don’t want to hear because you simply need to hear it and realize it for yourself you made a mistake, and most importantly to say sorry because you really are, because despite everything you’ve done, there is always someone out there who accepts you just as you are. There is no need to say those words, simple gestures, simple look, simple smiles, simple touch, a simple hug, you realize you are loved. A kind of friendship nobody could break because even if you try to, it will only make that friendship stronger… together😃😜, I think that’s the essence of spending this Christmas party with friends whom you now consider as your family in a country where all of you were once a stranger and turned this place to your new home. I would like to thank all my true and real friends from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the laughter and the tears, thank you all… for all the memories☺️😃 it will always remain in my heart.

To all my friends with love, DaZ

P.S. Each year we have our theme, and our chosen theme for this year was Cowgirl.

If you like to see how we celebrated our Christmas Party, please check this 20 minute video link I posted on youtube below:

Saturday, Week 45

My day starts today with green Tea flavored with Vanilla in my favorite cup😍. The aroma of the tea, hmmm delicious sweet Vanilla freshens up my body and soul, energizes my tired and stressed days of work over the week. So to start my Saturday, I woke up early at 7am (which is not my normal wakeup hours during the weekend), stretched up a bit and started cleaning the room of our two guinea pigs at home before giving them food, and now I am ready to drink my tea. What is waiting for me ahead? Well, it will be an exciting day for me today to go out with my daughter and enjoy our weekend with some friends, chill out and wind up, I’ll relax a bit, read my book while she enjoys swimming. What about yours? Hope you’ll also all have a nice one. Happy weekend everyone🥰


Paint Photo by DaZ, Copyright © 2018, Daz Journal

From the foolish world of tricky men,

Treating wives as captive or his own,

Time will come indeed and be prepared

For once his captive be freed

This woman’s heart he broke

Soon will stand out from the crowd

Wait then till he falls off the ground

Her bitterness someday be vanished

For the time is yet but near

When she would call him her Prisoner.


Epic journey through 8 countries in a Bicycle(India – Sweden)

I was teary with this story😢, a proof of true love- it’s really amazing. This should inspire us all.


The story of Dr. Pradyumna Kumar Mahanandia inspires us to believe that no matter how much trouble we face at last love makes everything possible.

Born in 1949 into a poor weaver family of Odisha, Dhenkanal who were considered untouchables, Mahanandia was a gifted artist. In 1971, he joined College of Art in New Delhi and gained popularity for making portraits.

In 1975, 19-year-old Charlotte Von Sledvin, a student in London heard about him and came down all the way to India to get her portrait made by him. Love had to bloom when Mahananda was touched by Charlotte’s beauty and Charlotte’s heart was won by his simplicity.

When it was time for Charlotte to leave, she asked her love to come along but Mahanandia had to stay back in India to complete his education and send his beloved with a promise to meet her again. He denied air ticket to…

View original post 272 more words

Life demands a payment

There’s no such thing as free lunch- life is not a gift, it is an investment. – John Maxwell

Remember that in everything we do, at work – accomplish things for your boss; at home- do all household work for the family; friends-staying by their side, we invest in life, we learn that there is nothing we could accomplish in life without investing first.

Even our life, we owe it to God. We live to do something about it, to value it, to be productive, to be remembered, and not to waste it. One day when we are gone, only the things we invested remain, our life we surrender, our body goes back to ashes.


Photo by: Daz on DaZ Journal, © 2018

A Mother’s Wish…

While checking on Instagram, I have read a post from someone I actually don’t know. It caught my attention because I saw it’s a mother who needs help for her baby. It breaks my heart to see babies suffering and surviving for life. I know there is nothing I could do but there is at least maybe something I could do to help. If this also touches your heart, please help and share. Again, I don’t know them, I just sent the mother a message to ask how the baby is doing, and found out the baby is still under treatment from Sepsis and Pneumonia. As of now their bills already went up to Php359,060.00 or an equivalent of USD6,705.00. I have linked the contacts of the persons below (mother and father of the baby) in case you need to prove their identity:

You may personally contact them here:

Leah Beck Caparas on Facebook (Messenger)

Jad Pao Santos on Instagram

Below you will see attached bills for hospitalization and medication, and the original post I’ve read (which also includes all the details to help them):

Any questions or comments are welcome, or you may direct you concern to the mother or father of the baby, as I’ve indicated above. I thank you all in advance for any help.

The art of waiting…

My day today turned out really well and effective. I woke up at my early weekday routine before 7 am (got up though at past 7am😃), had my daughter’s breakfast ready for school and went to work in the morning at around 8am, after work at 12pm I had to rush back home to prepare my lunch, while I was at the same time getting myself prepared for my appointment at BMW to have my car checked. I arrived exactly at my appointment time at 1:30pm at the service area, my car should be finished at 3pm. I had an offer for renting a car for 1 day if nobody has to pick you up or if you didn’t want to wait but instead of renting one to save some money, I just waited at the lobby. The girl at the service seemed to be surprised when I said I preferred waiting, but she was friendly and she offered me something to drink.

It’s always good thing to have things well-prepared while waiting, I had my book with me and my laptop. I grabbed first my book while drinking my coffee, I haven’t felt the time wasted. John Maxwell’s book of Leadership always keeps me inspired. After an hour reading, I took my laptop and started working on some illustrations. I finally finished my design which I actually did not finish doing at home. This you will see on my post scheduled for tomorrow (so please follow me to get updated👍🏼😂🙏). It was past 3pm when my car “service check-up” finished.

I rushed back home and my daughter was already waiting for me. She took care of her guinea pigs for a while then a few minutes later, I brought her to her friend. My friend invited me for coffee but I refused as I had to do more tasks at home.

I realized though that I become more effective working outside while waiting for something, like writing, doing designs etc., because I am more focused during this time as I did not have to worry about work at home. It’s sometimes hard to focus writing at home, because you see a lot of work waiting right in front of your eyes. As a mother like me, we never run out of duties and responsibilities. There’s always work waiting whatever area from the house you look at: the dishes from the kitchen, foods to be prepared, the sink at the toilet, the laundry, bedsheets, dusty table or cabinets and floor, garbages… and so on. There is neverending work, and the only time to rest and relax is after dinner when all of these are done after a long day’s work and when you’re already tired to finally go to bed. The next day is another usual day and unless we don’t take time to do some things we really wanted to do, it will always stay forever as a “want” and unaccomplished. Maybe there are a lot out there like me who sometimes postpone all the “I want to..”. If you don’t start it today, you can’t start it tomorrow. If you don’t start it today, you can’t finish it tomorrow.

Will you forget the pain?

Crying over the Pillow Woman1So I am crying like hell again, crying out loud until I could wipe you away with my tears. And I promise to write until my words stab your heart deeply… until you realize the hell you have done to me. 

You may relate to this if you have read my previous blog: The End.

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Inspirational Writing

A short reminder to everyone from one my favorite writer:

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid or making friends.  In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your own work and enriching your life as well.”  – Stephen King



It’s the Kiss 💋

It’s the kiss that you need to let your pain 💔go away

A kiss that wipes away all the tears you kept inside your ❤️ heart

A kiss to remind you everything will be alright 💋

A kiss to comfort … and to let you know that you are loved 💞 🤗

Budapest singing in my heart

Pick pick pick


Strumming up and down

Eyes closed

Lips singing

Hearts floating

Your body moves in

Every beat of it

All over the crowd

Glasses of wine cheering

While lips whisper the words:

“Because you’re mine I walk the line”

A Surprise Journey

Special day for two broken tied hearts

Sun hides underneath the heavy clouds

Wet roads burst while running car speeds up

As heavy raindrops splatter on the rooftop

Excitement arises when destination is a question mark

Road signs puzzle up getting closer or not

Buildings, Hotel, City, Harbor, Port and parking lot

Wheels parked, feet landed, sights at the ship on the dock

Clues and signs everywhere heart beats fast

While the ship says destination is Helgoland,

Eyes sparkle with smiles on the face, a dream comes true at last

This Germany’s smallest island in northern sea to be found

The island is reachable either with a plane or a ship

Hotels are everywhere, shops, restaurants, bar and a lot more

Whether to jog, swim or relax, never miss to see “Lange Anna

A day tour or overnight, it’s always worth a visit

Continue reading “A Surprise Journey”

The night

It was a night when drinking whiskey and fragrant grape based pomace slowly closes her eyes. Her head slightly drops down over her shoulder while the stars exposes itself behind the dark clouds and the starlight kisses her brown cheek a sad goodnight. Her body retires from a midnight crowd while the breeze of the air that surrounds her whispers a soft farewell to the moonlight.

Shattered 🙇‍♀️ 💔 🤦‍♀️

Reblogging my blog…

DaZ Journal

A silent mind bearing shattered memories

Heavy thoughts capture the past

A heart in grief breaks in pieces

And lonely eyes overflow with tears

Yesterday was a thousand miles to look back

Heavenly moments while young at heart

When body craves for a gentle touch

Warm embraces never to miss out

Dark clouds shimmered in the sunlight

Noisy laughs silenced the curious crowd

A real friend to trust, to touch and to hold

All worries and doubts fall out of sight

One single glimpse need not to say a word

Promises to keep no secrets to be told

Years and moments together when life was tough

Unbreakable trust built longer than enough

For one must go and bid a sad farewell

Yet distance won’t keep any bonds apart

When a missing piece is found, only time could tell

Two random lives no passersby could understand

Love spreads out and wilderness…

View original post 142 more words

Shattered 🙇‍♀️ 💔 🤦‍♀️

A silent mind bearing shattered memories

Heavy thoughts capture the past

A heart in grief breaks in pieces

And lonely eyes overflow with tears

Yesterday was a thousand miles to look back

Heavenly moments while young at heart

When body craves for a gentle touch

Warm embraces never to miss out


Dark clouds shimmered in the sunlight

Noisy laughs silenced the curious crowd

A real friend to trust, to touch and to hold

All worries and doubts fall out of sight


One single glimpse need not to say a word

Promises to keep no secrets to be told

Years and moments together when life was tough

Unbreakable trust built longer than enough


For one must go and bid a sad farewell

Yet distance won’t keep any bonds apart

When a missing piece is found, only time could tell

Two random lives no passersby could understand

Love spreads out and wilderness bear

Make dreams real, no doubt no fear

Life’s a gift wrapped with joy and wonder

Loneliness breaks with sweet cries and laughter


Life turns mess ruined by a mystery

A shattered dream, a hopeless reality

Leaves fall down and daylight wane

Nightmare sorrows and moonlight pain


Lost in the dark, mind overblowing in despair

Just cry out loud for nobody seems to care

Beneath those floody eyes are shattered dreams

Whispers of hope, anger burns in flames


Wounded once, wounded twice then all over again

Promises to keep fades away in vain

For a voice within yells in grief and sorrow

Look into the eyes and see no hope for tomorrow


Behind bitter smile’s an unuttered wish

Someday somewhere to find hidden happiness

Bring back the past to wipe away a tear

Til tears run out to take away the fear

Don’t let your Dream just a Dream

It all started with a 💔 broken heart, when I almost gave up and saw nothing but a useless creature of my own.

I was tipping on my keys during my break time at dawn, when unknown commercials pop up on my screen, the one I always ignored when I was so in love, one day it hit me when I was broken-hearted. So that’s it, I answered some questions when I thought a minute actually took ten minutes to finish.

Getting ready for new experiences, a lot of messages I just ignored. Only one message took my attention, I scanned the profile but I didn’t understand a word. It was written in German. It was the only thing that took my attention because of the language I never spoke. Years passed and the German language I never spoke and understood became my third language and my daughter’s first language. Now looking back from how this all started goes back to another broken 💔 heart. Those days and years in between were tough, not how everybody expected it. I don’t actually look back to regret, but I had to thank those hard moments for what it made me now. It made me stronger, self-reliable and a dreamer. Without a doubt I struggled, yet I was moving on. For without those tough times I would not be what I am now. From a person of zero experience in life— to a traveller, a wanderer and a dreamer. Life is not how we always expect it to be, but life can be how we want it to be.

Live your dreams, don’t regret the past, because there is nothing we could do to bring it back. Past is past, look instead of the future that waits ahead because there is more to it than how we see it, there is more to life when we stop regretting. Treasure the hard times, be brave and be strong at your toughest moment for that is your only way of success, remember that there will never be success if there’s no failure.

DSC_6024Copyright © 2018, DaZ Journal

So just dream, cross the ocean, climb the highest mountain, fly high, do what people never expect you to do, do the things you love… dream! But don’t let your dreams remain a dream. One day you will see, a dream fulfilled is a dream that was in mind, heart and soul, and the one you worked hard for.

The Touch of 🇬🇷 Greece

Today I looked up on you, I wish you could take me high and never bring me back to where I’ve been.

Your kiss on my naked feet whenever I walk down on you, your warm touch under my skin when I lay down to feel you. It tickles my ears when you whisper, the lovely sight of you whenever I open my eyes, the warmth of your breathe I got locked away on your irresistable touch… It makes me feel at home.

If only forever I can stay with you, I need this time to be with you. Get over with my ups and downs to feel you release my grief, take you with me wherever I go.

Remember me when I leave, this place will remain a dream. I might lose you but your memory stays with me deep within. You made me share my thoughts and release my feelings, made me brave to live my dreams, you made me who I am again.

I know I will not forget you… I am leaving with tears on my eyes because I know I will miss you.

Here I laughed, I smiled and cried.

This place welcomed me with smile.

Written in Club Calimera in Greece on Oct. 12, 2016, 13:05

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©️ 2016-2018 DaZ Journal All Rights Reserved

Screaming Inside


My heart is beating like a drum again, exploding like a bomb, like a storm that suddenly wants to fly into a rage, a prison on my own cell, and a bird wanting to get out of its cage. I want this trials gone, I need it no more, please let it go, let me be, why does it have to be me? I can feel the pain, it’s screaming inside… I’m crying inside, now I’m crying out loud… but I see no tears coming out. It’s all gone, now I am numb. I’m still standing, yes I am, but shall I thank you God? Because you let me live when there seems to be no reason to live at all. Oh I see, it’s my child that needs me… but someday when I am old, will leave me. Or shall I ask for hope, when it’s what i lived for all my life and ended up being miserable. Why are there no answers to my questions? What is this life I am living for? When all I have is suffering, when will it end? Let me know, let me believe in hope, let me see and experience once again the life I wished and longed for, the life I had and wish I could still have… for this is the only simple reason why I live… a little chance,  a little hope that is close to vanish. Well, maybe not in this life… honestly, I wish nothing more but “peace and harmony”.

flame 01

  • Copyright 2014, DaZ @, All Rights Reserved.

My Comeback


It’s been a long year since I’ve been gone. Now I’m getting myself prepared for  more posts and I hope 🤞🏼 this time for long and great posts… To be honest, I’m more than excited to share to you my experiences from different places around the world! Wow! This includes my trip to Austria, Italy, Nice, Monte Carlo, Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Netherlands, UK, Denmark, Poland, Spain and Greece! Definitely a lot more in time… I really have lots of stories to tell so please, watch out! 🙂





Drinking white coffee with black cream, while inhaling the cold yet warm breeze of the air from outside. The sun comes out turning blue skies into red, bright daylight but why do I see it all dark? My mind lifting down my body, so low I could almost get myself drowned. Hoping for hope when there is actually none, what else have I got rather than this fantasy of mine? Thinking hard, thinking far, I could go everywhere even if it’s only in my mind. This story of mine will take you wherever your mind will get you. Just go ahead and dream. Nothing is impossible, just like my white coffee and black cream. If you feel like nothing seems to be real in the actual world, then come and read my story… how far will you let me take you?

Screaming Inside

Continue reading “Fantasy..”


I was just in the midst of transferring my old files to a new laptop when I found my old apple design (made it last year) and I just thought about sharing it to you. It’s been a year since I haven’t made any posts.  Well, just a short reminder to everyone… it’s cold season again and many get sick. Avoid having colds this season… an apple a day keeps the doctor away! I guess I also need one:) Stay healthy!


Simply Beautiful

Only Yesterday

Here’s a Valentine special for everyone. I just wrote this few months ago and I wanted to make it a song… but since time isn’t always enough for me, I ended up making it a poem. 🙂

Only Yesterday

I can’t remember the years that passed,

It was like only yesterday

Your face is clear in my memory

Your voice, far and distant.

Throughout the years, the memories remain sweet and fresh

I wanna see them again

I wanna hold and feel the same

So many years have passed I know

But the feeling didn’t seem to change.

It was like only yesterday,

It’s been a long time

And I am missing it over and over…

So amazing feeling, I wanna feel your heart close to mine.

Oh yeah, years have passed but your touch…

It was like only yesterday,

Your sweet embraces, still fresh in my memory

I could always go back to those sweet memories.

Yes, it keeps coming back to me

Like only yesterday, your kiss, your touch…

Your sweet embrace…

I can still see the trace of smile on your face,

Deep inside I know you were mine.

Ten years have passed and they’re still fresh,

It was like only yesterday.

Now we’re growing old, I know…

But the memories of you,

Your love and my love, it will never fade…

Forever I hold you in my heart.

Continue reading “Only Yesterday”

Winter Theme

One of my homework in Graphic Design includes mixing colors by cutting 2×2 cm size from a magazine and arranging them creatively. I finally edited it in a computer to make a clean work. I chose the four seasons as my theme and I’m posting here my favorite work. Here’s what I’ve came up with.

Winter Mixing colors blue, white green, red
Winter Theme: Snowman on the background, made of mixed combinations of photos of white petals, flowers, water, clouds, mountain and a person skiing in red outfit.

This is one of my favorite artwork. Love to know what you think about it:)

You may also open the image in pdf file by simply clicking this: WinterFarbe02

Copyright 2015, DaZ @, All Rights Reserved.

Christmas at home yet away from Home.

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been away from Home. Yes, I haven’t been spending Christmas at my country home for like 7 years now. Living in Germany for almost 8 years now doesn’t mean I already forgot my hometown, Philippines. Although I really love Germany, nothing will ever compare to my hometown Philippines, where I was born and grew up, it’s where my families are, my parents and my sisters, relatives and friends. For me, that’s what the spirit of Christmas makes it really special. Well maybe I am just homesick but Christmas (or “Weihnachten” as they call it) in Germany is really different. Well, it’s like this… the preparation for Christmas in Germany starts on December 1, but some people in some parts of Germany already make preparations before December 1. During this day, kids receive their “Adventskalendar” which they have to open everyday until the 24th of December. Weihnachtsmarkt or Christmas Market can be found in all cities. This is celebrated during the four weeks of advent. Some cities like AugsburgDresdenErfurtFrankfurtNuremberg and Stuttgart, are famous for their Christmas markets and are popular for tourist attractions during Christmas holiday season.

We also celebrate St. Nicholas Day in Germany (Nikolaus) which is held on the 6th day of December. It is tradition for kids to clean up their shoes the day before Nikolaus comes on the 6th day of December. Kids then receive small gifts from Nikolaus which are found on their shoes early in the morning. The “Advent” in Germany is observed every first Sunday of December where it is a tradition to prepare four candles on the table and one candle is lighted up on the first Sunday of December. On the 2nd Sunday of December, two candles are lighted up, 3 candles on the 3rd Sunday and four candles on the 4th Sunday. The Germans celebrate two Christmas nights. On the 24th of December, it’s tradition for Germans to go to church before the holy night or “der Heilige Abend“. After going to the church, we prepare dinner while kids are too excited to look for their gifts under the Christmas tree. Kids should wait for the adults to come before opening up their gifts, only until everyone is ready could we open up our gifts at the same time.DSC_4074Taken on the 24 December, at 6:30pm in Germany…

Dinner is served after opening of gifts. In Germany, we don’t serve too much on the table. We serve only what we could eat, as Germans prefer not to have left-out foods. Usually we eat something simple or traditional foods during Christmas. Typical foods like roast goose or duck stuffed with apples, chestnuts, onions or prunes, or red cabbage with onions and apple, while some people in other parts of Germany prefer to eat turkey, or beef, venison or wild boar. Any of these combined with boiled potatoes or dumplings makes the meal for Christmas special.

After dinner, kids still have time to play with their toys or gifts they received from Santa. The second day of Christmas is celebrated on the 26th of December, Germans call it “der zweite Weihnachtstag. No more gifts, but we still spend dinner together on the holy night of December 26th. In some parts of Germany, some customs and traditions are still still observed on der zweite WeihnachtstagWhile many of Germany’s Christmas cultures and traditions are adapted in many countries, Christmas in Germany for me remains special and unique.

In Philippines, Christmas preparation already starts even two or three months before Christmas. This is noticed when the month of September already starts. You may already notice on the malls Christmas lights and lanterns being sold and even on the streets, you will already find Christmas lights, lanterns or “parols” decorated in every corner of the street. A very nice report from CNN “The Philippines shows the world how to celebrate Christmas“, explains how Filipinos celebrate Christmas, and one of the worlds longest festive season in the Southeast Asian island nation. This is why Philippines always remains a mark in my heart, it leaves a special place that nobody or nothing could ever take its’ place. Not to forget decorating the Christmas trees at night at the month of September, the Simbang Gabi that we used to attend nine consecutive nights before Christmas, the smell of putobumbong on the street, the Christmas carols of the children heard in every street corner, and what makes it more special? My family, our get-together and dining together during the Nochebuena (Christmas Eve). My parents has to drive all the way from our province in Pangasinan, the northern part of Luzon to the southern part of Luzon in Cavite so we could all get-together and spend Christmas together. My parents normally serve bunch of foods on the table like lechon, putobumbong, bibingka, barbecue, suman, turkey, hamonado, leche flan, spaghetti, macaroni salad, quezo de bola, grapes, bananas, ripe mangoes, puto, pancit, pancito molo, and many more. This is very different in Germany, because Filipinos like to serve lots of foods on the table. Exchange gifts are also common, but for Filipinos, we don’t really mind of not receiving Christmas gifts.  Although my parents never forget to give us gifts, we understand if we don’t receive any as we know and we are taught that there are lots of children on the street who starve and do not even receive gifts on Christmas. It is however important for us that we are altogether during Christmas. Our presence is very important as this is one very special occasion that we should all unite, an occasion we should not forget when Jesus Christ was born.

Screaming Inside

My heart is beating like a drum again, exploding like a bomb, like a storm that suddenly wants to fly into a rage, a prison on my own cell, and a bird wanting to get out of its cage. I want this trials gone, I need it no more, please let it go, let me be, why does it have to be me? I can feel the pain, it’s screaming inside… I’m crying inside, now I’m crying out loud… but I see no tears coming out. It’s all gone, now I am numb. I’m still standing, yes I am, but shall I thank you God? Because you let me live when there seems to be no reason to live at all. Oh I see, it’s my child that needs me… but someday when I am old, will leave me. Or shall I ask for hope, when it’s what i lived for all my life and ended up being miserable. Why are there no answers to my questions? What is this life I am living for? When all I have is suffering, when will it end? Let me know, let me believe in hope, let me see and experience once again the life I wished and longed for, the life I had and wish I could still have… for this is the only simple reason why I live… a little chance,  a little hope that is close to vanish. Well, maybe not in this life… honestly, I wish nothing more but “peace and harmony”.

flame 01

  • Copyright 2014, DaZ @, All Rights Reserved.

Captioning Fehmarn

 Fehmarn, known as Germany’s 3rd biggest island, located at the Ostsee (Eastern Coast) of Schleswig-HolsteinGermany. The island, famous for its nature and recreation areas. It is also well known for its Windsurf and Kitesurf spots. Together with my friend, I am lucky enough to have taken these wonderful photos. 

DSC_3332Three buildings in a row…

Where shall you go?


Take a closer look..

So I may have to know.


Go on, keep looking until you find your right spot

Nice places like this are few and far between


Up in the sky

Where birds go fly


The only comfortable place to go

Sometimes is being alone or yet with you

When your goal seems to be pie in the sky

In time with great effort you’ll sail through it.


Even when the bright sun is  covered with heavy clouds

Go out and let your hair down.
DSC_3331These beautiful sights of Fehmarn

Will give you comfort and ease

DSC_3402Discover its’ beauty, fresh and cool atmosphere

It’s good for the soul, so nourish every second of it

Whether for family or friends

Simply a perfect place to be


Below are more photographs taken by me. All in one day, I’ve managed to shoot them in less half an hour. Some of the shots might not be perfect but I tried to choose as much as possible the nicer ones and at least it will give us a perfect idea of how nice the island really is.








For more information about Fehmarn, you may click the link (or copy and paste the link) below: