What’s Holding You Back In Making Your Dreams Come True?

My drafts were kept drafts for years. My life got stuck in a complicated world, my life turned mess. I’ve travelled many places but never found myself. I got lost to where I belong.

It’s been quite a long time since my last blog and I regret not giving myself a little time to write.

At this point of time, I am feeling ashamed of myself, for being me not being able to be what I should be, for being a person who has nothing to brag about but failure.

The truth is, there is something deep inside me that always bothers me, something inside me that is afraid to tell, to open up and to talk about. I am lost, I moved and travelled places but still I am lost within. I can’t bring my sufferings and tears out, nobody understands anyway. I can only scream inside and keep my tears to myself.

I am not a person of perfection, well I’m sure nobody is and nobody was. People see me like how they wanted to see me, and I see people very far from my distance. I see things as dark as my innermost grievances. I am nobody, I can’t be the person people expect me to be, I can’t go on living like everything seems to be well while it’s not, because deep inside me is a spirit that’s about to surrender, yet a fighting spirit that wants to move on. Yes, there’s one thing that keeps me from moving on, my dreams.

So alright I have my dreams. I guess it’s actually my dreams that made me nobody now, a dream that made me stumble, to stand again and fall, to keep trying and fall, to hope and to give up, to dream but to lose. Because of this, I was close to depression not being able to live my dreams, or maybe I am already there but a part of me won’t accept it. The truth is… I almost forgot the most important things in my life, my family, me being as a mother, or being a wife, and the responsibilities of both being a wife and a mother. Actually I’ve almost given up everything, I blamed everything or everyone around me, because the world isn’t fair, the people around me made it more difficult for me, or probably it was just me or what’s within me… me not being able to find myself time, or me thinking too much and doing nothing, or me just always blaming myself. I hate myself for this, but I can’t let my dreams just dreams. This is why I escaped myself from reality and rest my worries and fears in the air. At the depth of my thoughts ends a realization that there is nothing on earth that could save me but myself.

Despite all the obstacles, I am learning to cope my failures. I’m still trying hard to move on and live up with my dreams. I try as much as possible to give time for myself and think about what I really wanted to do in my life. At my age, I haven’t really done much to fulfill my dreams, but there were times when I really wanted to start doing things that I really wanted to do but obstacles always come along the way. Mothers don’t really have much time for themselves, because like me, I invested too much time for my child, not knowing I was forgetting my own.

And so is the reason for this blog, to reach out and probably inspire someone like me to go on and keep dreaming but also do something to make that dream real. A part of me says it has to start now, not yesterday, not tomorrow but now… or you will end up regretting not doing anything to make that dream come true… because if there is an opportunity, it has to be now. So if you are like me, please try to set aside all the things that’s holding you back, try sacrificing and live that dream you always wanted to, and if you fail, stand up and try again, you’ll end up realizing “at least you tried”… and the next time you’ll try, you “know” what to do… so keep trying, but keep moving, don’t give up because there is always hope.

One day you will see, you’ll be sitting with that dream you’ve always dreamed about.

So let’s start now, we’ll do it together.

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What stops you from trying?

Are you aware that there are things you haven’t done but could actually have done because you thought there was nothing else you could do? Or things you haven’t tried or stopped trying because you were afraid to do so and you did not believe in yourself?

There is something in this world that makes us unique, something from deep within that makes us a whole, extraordinary or special, not the looks, not the dress or the brands we wear on. Remember, we were born naked, without fancy make-ups or expensive clothes, and we were loved just as we are from the day we were born. Make-ups, gadgets, expensive clothes, shoes and every fancy things we wear covers all up our innermost beauty as well as it reflects our own personality and could make an impact on the things that we do or could do.

Sometimes it’s just hard to live without satisfying first our own needs and self-interest, thus making us greedy… and selfish… and discontented. We are too focused on other things without realizing what is actually happening within us.

Sometimes, or most of the time, we worry too much and we spend so much time worrying about the things we haven’t done, it’s time wasted. We are so preoccupied with so many things that surrounds us making us incapable of doing the things we actually should. We worry too much on how we should look to other people and even other people’s lives. But if we examine ourselves or take a look deep down our heart, and set aside all the things that hinder us from being what we really are or what we could be, only then can we realize there is something more in us, something else we are at the moment unaware of but capable of doing, something we are afraid to do so but actually could, or something we don’t know we are actually good at.

If we try to take time and think of the things that we value the most, or the things that are most important, and the things that matters most, and if we believe in ourselves, and try to at least go beyond our will and power, only then could we realize that there is something worthwhile we could do rather than waiting and hoping someday for it to happen. Only until then, can we see the true meaning of our existence.

Inspirational Writing

A short reminder to everyone from one my favorite writer:

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid or making friends.  In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your own work and enriching your life as well.”  – Stephen King