To reach a goal is to keep a mind set and focus on the things that will make you in the future what you wanna be. Aim high, dream big, let your mind speak up for you. Get inspired. This is what my blog is all about.
Yesterday was a long flight, flying from Hamburg, I was walking at a long path of London Heathrow airport. I had a 3 hour stop and I used all the time to just walk around while waiting for my gate to open.
While I was walking around, my thoughts were somewhere, my heart still felt heavy.
I remember when I was driving for work yesterday and suddenly I just burst into tears. Then I was sitting at the front of my computer at work, I noticed some flashbacks. The pain is forever there… I could hardly concentrate from work and I was close to telling my chef that I needed a rest… but hey.. just few hours before my off, I had to be patient.
Finally on my way back home, it was like the same morning when I just burst into tears.
I can’t just take the pain away, it hurts so much deeply, as if it was cutting my heart and leaving a big scar in there.
Seeing myself sitting for a pause, I didn’t realize how long it took me walking around the huge and crowded waiting area of London Heathrow.
Now I am back to myself, trying to feel what I am feeling… but it was empty… as if I’ve already cried all the tears as if I left my country and also already leaving my past behind.
A new hope was built inside of me. I think it’s a really good start for me to have some time to think… and make a brand new start.
This is all I needed… a few weeks away, a little break, a little time. This is the moment I know I wanted to get myself back… and I am hoping, really hoping that this moment will help me never ever to look back.
My drafts were kept drafts for years. My life got stuck in a complicated world, my life turned mess. I’ve travelled many places but never found myself. I got lost to where I belong.
It’s been quite a long time since my last blog and I regret not giving myself a little time to write.
At this point of time, I am feeling ashamed of myself, for being me not being able to be what I should be, for being a person who has nothing to brag about but failure.
The truth is, there is something deep inside me that always bothers me, something inside me that is afraid to tell, to open up and to talk about. I am lost, I moved and travelled places but still I am lost within. I can’t bring my sufferings and tears out, nobody understands anyway. I can only scream inside and keep my tears to myself.
I am not a person of perfection, well I’m sure nobody is and nobody was. People see me like how they wanted to see me, and I see people very far from my distance. I see things as dark as my innermost grievances. I am nobody, I can’t be the person people expect me to be, I can’t go on living like everything seems to be well while it’s not, because deep inside me is a spirit that’s about to surrender, yet a fighting spirit that wants to move on. Yes, there’s one thing that keeps me from moving on, my dreams.
So alright I have my dreams. I guess it’s actually my dreams that made me nobody now, a dream that made me stumble, to stand again and fall, to keep trying and fall, to hope and to give up, to dream but to lose. Because of this, I was close to depression not being able to live my dreams, or maybe I am already there but a part of me won’t accept it. The truth is… I almost forgot the most important things in my life, my family, me being as a mother, or being a wife, and the responsibilities of both being a wife and a mother. Actually I’ve almost given up everything, I blamed everything or everyone around me, because the world isn’t fair, the people around me made it more difficult for me, or probably it was just me or what’s within me… me not being able to find myself time, or me thinking too much and doing nothing, or me just always blaming myself. I hate myself for this, but I can’t let my dreams just dreams. This is why I escaped myself from reality and rest my worries and fears in the air. At the depth of my thoughts ends a realization that there is nothing on earth that could save me but myself.
Despite all the obstacles, I am learning to cope my failures. I’m still trying hard to move on and live up with my dreams. I try as much as possible to give time for myself and think about what I really wanted to do in my life. At my age, I haven’t really done much to fulfill my dreams, but there were times when I really wanted to start doing things that I really wanted to do but obstacles always come along the way. Mothers don’t really have much time for themselves, because like me, I invested too much time for my child, not knowing I was forgetting my own.
And so is the reason for this blog, to reach out and probably inspire someone like me to go on and keep dreaming but also do something to make that dream real. A part of me says it has to start now, not yesterday, not tomorrow but now… or you will end up regretting not doing anything to make that dream come true… because if there is an opportunity, it has to be now. So if you are like me, please try to set aside all the things that’s holding you back, try sacrificing and live that dream you always wanted to, and if you fail, stand up and try again, you’ll end up realizing “at least you tried”… and the next time you’ll try, you “know” what to do… so keep trying, but keep moving, don’t give up because there is always hope.
One day you will see, you’ll be sitting with that dream you’ve always dreamed about.
It wasn’t long time ago when me and my family visited Rügen (or Ruegen), a biggest island in Germany located located at Baltic Sea. It was just a 3-night visit, but I would say it was worthwhile. For some reasons, I’ve started writing about our tour here but at some point, I never got to an end-point.
I was at the midpoint of my ups and downs, but this tour has just refreshed the inner side of me.
You will find some photos below, I think the pictures say it all, as it has never been easy describing how such lovely this place this is.
The Ostseebad Sellin is a municipality on the island of Rügen in Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania. The municipality in the district of Vorpommern-Rügen is managed by the office Mönchgut-Granitz, located in the municipality of Baabe.
You will see some dark spots on the sand, as on the photo above, it’s where experts of Stone hunters searched for Amber- the “Gold of the Baltic Sea”.
Amber is a fossil, fossilized resin that was secreted by coniferous trees in the Baltic Sea area about 40 to 50 million years ago. Under exclusion of oxygen, resin was preserved and solidified in layers of brown coal age – it was amber.
The amber has a low density, it is light and soft, so it is taken by the ocean current. Therefore, the distribution is very wide-ranging. There are various forms, these were caused by the different toughness of the resin. The color depends on the radiation of the light when it leaves the tree.
Amber is easily confused with other stones. To determine if it is amber, the stone is lit. In a positive sample, the stone burns very bright. That’s why he got his name.
The first place we visited in Rügen after Breege was Sellin, for me the place was very quiet but perfect for those who are just simply trying to relax and enjoy the air, sand, and water.
Binz is perfect for those who loves to shop, there are also a lot of selected nice shops and restaurants just around a few meters away from the sea. It was easier for us to find some nice Restaurants in Binz than in Sellin.
Sellin, RügenInside National Park
King’s Chair of the Jasmund Peninsula (Königstuhl) view from National Park
King’s Chair of the Jasmund Peninsula (Königstuhl)
Bunkers can still be found during the World War II at Putgarten
Kap Arkona View from the top of the Tower in Puttgarten.
Cape Arkona or Kap Arkona in Germany, is a 43 meter high, consisting of chalk and boulder clay steep coast on the peninsula Wittow in the north of the island of Rügen. The area monument Kap Arkona belongs beside the fishing village Vitt to the municipality Putgarten and is one of the most popular excursion destinations on Rügen with annually about 800,000 visitors.
Tower at Kap Arkona
We went to the top of this Tower to see the nice view of Kap Arkona in Putgarten.
Port of Yachts in Breege
I just spotted this small house while we were strolling around Breege to look for some nice restaurants around.
Stralsund, RügenWe dropped by at Stralsund on our way back home and visited this small lovely city.
Panoramic View of Stralsund
Not only did I enjoy our short stay in Rügen, but also driving at a no-speed limit area (reachjng 200 kms. per hour) made our Journey fun!
While checking on Instagram, I have read a post from someone I actually don’t know. It caught my attention because I saw it’s a mother who needs help for her baby. It breaks my heart to see babies suffering and surviving for life. I know there is nothing I could do but there is at least maybe something I could do to help. If this also touches your heart, please help and share. Again, I don’t know them, I just sent the mother a message to ask how the baby is doing, and found out the baby is still under treatment from Sepsis and Pneumonia. As of now their bills already went up to Php359,060.00 or an equivalent of USD6,705.00. I have linked the contacts of the persons below (mother and father of the baby) in case you need to prove their identity:
First impressions never last. It’s true, but what makes people think we are a kind of person they think of? What makes us different anyway? How could we change how people think about us? The thing is, it is difficult to change how people think about us when they already had the impression of what we really are. Sad to say, most people judge a person by its cover, basically on how the person looks, or the way a person walks, dresses, talks, and eat. It’s basically a misconception on how every person is judged on first impressions.
But we can make a difference. Sometimes, it’s just by looking in the eye. Because what you see and how you feel reflects on your eyes. But the big question here is, are we really that kind of person that we think we are? Can we make a good impression on someone to make us think of the kind of person we want them to think us to be?
I was a silent girl on my younger days, and people judged me of being shy. I was actually shy as a kid, although I have tried to change that personality over years, I always still got the impressions of being shy from most people. These years, whenever I meet new people, I am not a shy person anymore, but as it turns out, people still judge me sometimes for being a shy one although I tell I am not. I think this personality from my younger years already reflected in my entire personality that I sometimes think to myself I maybe still am that kind of person. You see, I still have this kind of thinking that I couldn’t get rid of and so it reflects on my personality.
It takes a lot of effort to make an impression to someone of being someone you wanted others to see but it takes more effort to change that impression to someone. So try to examine yourself for a while and think, what kind of person are you really are? Remember, what you think you are is what you are. What you think of yourself is what others also see.