When life gets busy

Alarm bells started to ring when my internet connection got lost.  I was so busy surfing, when my internet went down. I realized how hard it is to live without internet. This is where my world already revolves. Internet makes a very big impact on my life. Life becomes different for me without internet, even having my Photoshop software to do some work, or my book to keep me busy and even having my notes around to write down my tasks and list down my expenses. It’s like a slap on the wrist. Is it just really me? Or the just how life already is in this generation?

When life gets busy
When life gets busy

So, hurrah! I got my internet back! It turned out I had to request from the owner of the apartment where I was staying at to get connected again. It was like a catch 22 situation when you wanted to get something done and you could not.

Now is the time to keep myself busy again. I just could not ignore the feeling of having without internet. Is it just me? I guess somebody out there feels the same. Would love to hear a penny of your thoughts.

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Smiling Shells and Broken Rubik

Life is a struggle we have to live on. There are times when we are at our most happy moments, and times at our worst.

My five year old girl daughter draw some smiling faces on the small shells and placed one smiling shell on her broken Rubik’s Cubes. These shells appeared to be smiling faces to me, while the broken Rubik looked to me like a mystery and the puzzles in our life. It attracted my attention so I thought it would be nice if I could take it a shot.

Smiling Shells and Broken Puzzle
Smiling Shells and Broken Rubik’s Cube

Whenever I take a look at these faces I can only think of happy people, happy faces, happy life. But not everyday are like these faces. Like a broken Rubik’s cubes on the photo, we have our missing pieces, broken hearts, and hard times. Those missing pieces are gone. Only until we search for them could we solve the puzzle. If we don’t fix our problem, they can’t be fixed. If we don’t face the trials, we end up broken and struggling. But that is life. We live in mysteries. We can’t prevent things to go wrong, we can’t make the wrong ones to be the right one, we can’t always live a life we always wanted, just as we can’t always get everything we wanted. We can’t simply make impossible things possible!

A person having all the wealth in the world doesn’t end up being happy forever. For some reasons, they end up being stressed from work, being alone or no honest friend to talk to, no family,  or whatever any other reasons.

A happy family stays happy, because they always stick together. But this happiness ends up until one has to separate because of the unpredictable reasons this world brings.

What about lovers being in love for so many years and after long relationship they fall out of love?

When we look at our innermost self, we are happy, yet we try to look again deep in our heart and we find ourselves weeping, begging and mourning. Although there are times when we wish we could just simply forget those happy moments because sometimes remembering them is simply the most painful of all, knowing that they’re all over and the only thing we could do is wish we could bring the past back. We end up living to the memories.

Life has its ups and downs. Despite of all the trials and troubles that come our way, we struggle, even the most happy days could all be gone in a second. Because we live in a world full of mysteries… and only those who are wise enough survive and live life to the fullest, like a smiling piece of shell on top of the broken Rubik’s Cube.

Thoughts About the Past

“Thoughts About the Past”

My Journal

Thoughts About the Past

Summer 2007

Have you ever thought about writing a story about your real life and just as when you start thinking about how you want it get started, you’ll never get to the end point? I’ve always dreamed about having my story read in a book but never got the chance.

Well, how about starting with a goodbye kiss? Interesting, isn’t it? Here’s how it goes…

He was driving me off for work when he grab my left hand with his right hand and placed it sweetly and softly in his chest. I knew from the time before he took my hand that it’s gonna be the last time I would ever see him again… even if I wanted to, I have to make it last. He probably noticed my long hard breathes and saw it in my eyes that I’m gonna leave him forever? He started kissing my hand so tender and place it back again in his chest like he never wanted to let me go. Why now? Why is he starting to be sweet and loving when I’ve already made up my mind, I can’t go on with a relationship like that with him any further.

He said to me “Feel my heartbeat, you will know how much I really love you!” I was surprised with his words, and looked at him in the eyes to see maybe if there’s any doubt in his eyes. But his eyes are tied up on the street, so I looked away to hide the tears that wanted to drop off from my eyes. Long hard breath! What’s bothering me again? I wanted to tell him, please don’t do this. Why now, why now??? Oh God, I knew from my heart I was so inlove with him but I was already trying so hard to get over him, to forget him! Please let me go, please let me go! Thoughts unsaid. My heart was beating faster. Hands almost shaking. I remained still and anxious.

He pushed down the break to stop the car, we were already infront of the building where I work. “This might be the last time we will see each other again”, at last I’ve said the words before I got off from his car. He looked at me surprised or confused. Then I just said goodbye and got off the car. No explanations, no more other words. I just waved my hand to say goodbye and he hurriedly drove away. I couldn’t believe what I did. That’s it, I knew it… it’s the end of it.

A week after, he sent me text messages telling me he wanted to see me again… then he also tried calling me a few more times, I didn’t wanna take the call nor answer any of his text messages. One day, at work, I opened my email and got a message from him, he sent me email asking how I am and that he only asks as a friend and nothing more else. Then, at the end of the email he wrote his name with an indication below his name, “from the past”.

Since then, I never heard anything from him anymore. I tried moving on, met someone who helped me forget about him… he’s wonderful and nice, loving and sweet… enough to make me forget and never look back on the past. Well, telling about him is another part of the story…

Thoughts are forever, memories never last, feelings may or may not fade, people we love sometimes leave and go back… that’s life! Sometimes we try to understand its mysteries. We try to make our fantasies real with dreams, we put our thoughts in writing to let them stay there or to release our deep emotions… to make us feel better, relieved or even worse. But in the end, we realize some things are still unexplainable. Tears drop, laughters blow in the air… life has to go on.

Daz Island Cove

P.S. This story had been written only to inspire, whether or not this is real, who knows… and who cares, anyway?

What is your mood today? Are you in-love? Are you in grief? Are you having a great time, or a bad time? Your reaction on the story depends on your mood. I found this story on my notes which I wrote few years ago.  There are no revisions, perhaps just some typographical errors and an additional photo:). I just wonder how people react when they are in-love and when they are not. Anyway, please let me know if you enjoyed it. If not, I still would love to hear your feedback. Good or bad…