I see you from afar
But you were not there
I tipped the words
But I got no response
I didn’t matter
I’m no one but a shadow
You just pass by
Our words made us close
Yet too far to reach
In silence was love unspoken
In silence was doubt and pain
If only fear would be broken
Our hearts will bring us closer.
Yesterday was a long flight, flying from Hamburg, I was walking at a long path of London Heathrow airport. I had a 3 hour stop and I used all the time to just walk around while waiting for my gate to open.
While I was walking around, my thoughts were somewhere, my heart still felt heavy.
I remember when I was driving for work yesterday and suddenly I just burst into tears. Then I was sitting at the front of my computer at work, I noticed some flashbacks. The pain is forever there… I could hardly concentrate from work and I was close to telling my chef that I needed a rest… but hey.. just few hours before my off, I had to be patient.
Finally on my way back home, it was like the same morning when I just burst into tears.
I can’t just take the pain away, it hurts so much deeply, as if it was cutting my heart and leaving a big scar in there.
Seeing myself sitting for a pause, I didn’t realize how long it took me walking around the huge and crowded waiting area of London Heathrow.
Now I am back to myself, trying to feel what I am feeling… but it was empty… as if I’ve already cried all the tears as if I left my country and also already leaving my past behind.
A new hope was built inside of me. I think it’s a really good start for me to have some time to think… and make a brand new start.
This is all I needed… a few weeks away, a little break, a little time. This is the moment I know I wanted to get myself back… and I am hoping, really hoping that this moment will help me never ever to look back.
I may cry all the tears
But I will bury them with you
Not wishing to look back
Because pain is enough
A little something for myself
Is all what I have
But I will stand proud
Because one day I know
Living without you
Will make me live
For at least one another day
So, thank you for all the tears…
Because it finally woke me up
It made me weak, yet stronger
It gave me new hope
One day I’ll say…
I’m finally on my own
Standing… without you.
Daz Journal, Copyright © 2019
Just let me fall
Take everything all
Until nothing is left
Even my last breathe
My lost maybe your victory
But one day when I am gone
Someday you’ll see
Your biggest regret in life
When I am nowhere to be found.
So I am crying like hell again, crying out loud until I could wipe you away with my tears. And I promise to write until my words stab your heart deeply… until you realize the hell you have done to me.
You may relate to this if you have read my previous blog: The End.
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When the world 🌎 turns its back on you and you don’t know what to do…
Remember that behind the clouds ⛅️ is a sunlight 🌞 waiting for you to shine ⭐️
It’s the kiss that you need to let your pain 💔go away
A kiss that wipes away all the tears you kept inside your ❤️ heart
A kiss to remind you everything will be alright 💋
A kiss to comfort … and to let you know that you are loved 💞 🤗