A Little Break

Yesterday was a long flight, flying from Hamburg, I was walking at a long path of London Heathrow airport. I had a 3 hour stop and I used all the time to just walk around while waiting for my gate to open.

While I was walking around, my thoughts were somewhere, my heart still felt heavy.

I remember when I was driving for work yesterday and suddenly I just burst into tears. Then I was sitting at the front of my computer at work, I noticed some flashbacks. The pain is forever there… I could hardly concentrate from work and I was close to telling my chef that I needed a rest… but hey.. just few hours before my off, I had to be patient.

Finally on my way back home, it was like the same morning when I just burst into tears.

I can’t just take the pain away, it hurts so much deeply, as if it was cutting my heart and leaving a big scar in there.

Seeing myself sitting for a pause, I didn’t realize how long it took me walking around the huge and crowded waiting area of London Heathrow.

Now I am back to myself, trying to feel what I am feeling… but it was empty… as if I’ve already cried all the tears as if I left my country and also already leaving my past behind.

A new hope was built inside of me. I think it’s a really good start for me to have some time to think… and make a brand new start.

This is all I needed… a few weeks away, a little break, a little time. This is the moment I know I wanted to get myself back… and I am hoping, really hoping that this moment will help me never ever to look back.

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Thank you…

I may cry all the tears

But I will bury them with you

Not wishing to look back

Because pain is enough

A little something for myself

Is all what I have

But I will stand proud

Because one day I know

Living without you

Will make me live

For at least one another day

So, thank you for all the tears…

Because it finally woke me up

It made me weak, yet stronger

It gave me new hope

One day I’ll say…

I’m finally on my own

Standing… without you.

Thank you.

Daz Journal, Copyright © 2019

Someday You’ll See

Just let me fall

Take everything all

Until nothing is left

Even my last breathe

My lost maybe your victory

But one day when I am gone

Someday you’ll see

Your biggest regret in life

When I am nowhere to be found.

Will you forget the pain?

Crying over the Pillow Woman1So I am crying like hell again, crying out loud until I could wipe you away with my tears. And I promise to write until my words stab your heart deeply… until you realize the hell you have done to me. 

You may relate to this if you have read my previous blog: The End.

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It’s the Kiss 💋

It’s the kiss that you need to let your pain 💔go away

A kiss that wipes away all the tears you kept inside your ❤️ heart

A kiss to remind you everything will be alright 💋

A kiss to comfort … and to let you know that you are loved 💞 🤗